One of the many great things about personal development is that you usually start seeing results quite quickly. They might not be big, life-changing results at first, in fact no one other than yourself might even notice them. But you do and that is what keeps you going initially.
In almost every area of self-development that is the case.
If your start working on your physical health, you might lose your belly, start growing muscles and notice that you become fitter in everyday life.
If you decide to develop your mind and read more, you will become smarter, more engaging, and quicker in absorbing knowledge.
If you improve your social life, you begin to notice that you make more friends, that you go out more, and that your dating life blossoms.
This is pretty straight forward, isn’t it? You work on something, and later you see the results. But there is an area where results are not that obvious, where you don’t get to reap the fruits of your labor right away. This area is groundedness.
I talked about it before in another article (5 concepts that will help you become a more attractive man), and I believe that it is essential to work on it if you want to be truly successful in developing as a person. It is however a rather vague topic and difficult to wrap your head around.
That’s why I want to demonstrate the concept by showing you two videos of the maybe most grounded guy on Youtube, Elliott Hulse. He is a hugely successful with his videos in which he talks about fitness and weight training as well as philosophy, spirituality and personal growth.
Watch these two videos, one from 2009 and one from 2014, five years later. The content is not important. Instead, pay attention to the way he presents himself.
In 2009 you could already see that he is a pretty good speaker, that he is charismatic and knows how to make an impression quickly. But if you compare it to the way he presents himself, it is still a difference like night and day!
In the first video, his energy is all over the place. He talks fast, he talks in a high-pitched voice and he seems to rush things in order to get it over with. He is still eloquent, you don’t have any problems following his thoughts, but he fails to really let it sink in. Instead, even though a big-ass strongman at the time, he always seems at the tip of his toes. He is not completely at ease and that feeling gets passed on to his viewers.
Compare all of these things to his video from five years later. Notice how completely relaxed he seems there. Pay attention to how he takes his time. How he uses breaks to let his words truly reach you. He is as calm as someone can be. At the same time though he is able to explosively burst out energy through the way he talks and uses his body whenever the speech allows for such a behavior! He is completely centered and you can just feel that his energy comes from an entirely different place than in the first video. It doesn’t come from his chest anymore (keeping him on the tips of his toes), but instead comes from his balls (his words, not mine). That is why he is able to channel his energy a lot better and can direct all his energy into the one task he is focusing on, in this case making a pretty fucking good video!
This is exactly what groundedness is. To have plenty of energy is one thing. But to really know how to guide it, how to use it and how to direct it to make the biggest possible impact is an art form.
A lot of people have energy and just spill it all over the place. They never develop any kind of channeling for it. An analogy that is often used in this context is the one of the growing tree. As a tree grows higher (as we develop as a person), his roots have to grow deeper. It cannot just grow higher and higher without growing deeper at the same time, then it would just tip over.
The way I see it, humans are just the same way. You have to become more and more grounded if you want to develop further and further as a person. You cannot just train your body or your mind or your social skills (the branches of the tree). You have to balance it out by going deeper inside yourself and figure out who you really are. This can be done through thinking about your values in life. And your purpose. And your goals. You can meditate. You can teach others (like Elliott does in his videos). You can attempt to become more present to the moment (I talk more about that in ‘Experiencing the Power of Now‘).
But what you cannot do is neglect this area of your life. Even though groundedness is a very intangible skill, it is one of the most obvious and taking ones if you meet someone who possesses it.