Spending some time alone

In those times when we are not with other people – friends, partners, family – what do we do? How do we usually spend this ‘alone time’? 

For most of us it will be one of the following activities: being on the phone; being on the computer; watching TV; reading; listening to music. 

And even though we are alone then, we don’t really feel alone, since we are interacting with others electronically or putting ourselves into a situation where we are with others through imagination. 

It is really rare nowadays that we are alone just with ourselves and our thoughts. 

We are so not used to it that in fact many people get uneasy when they can think undisturbed for a longer time. They hate the silence. They hate being by themselves. They hate not being distracted. 

Why though? Why is it so hard to just spend some time in solitude for a while? 

Deflection instead of Reflection

I believe we are actively afraid of reflecting on our lives. So much of what we do is just  following patterns: doing as we’re told, doing as others do, doing as we once decided years ago. But we rarely take the time to thoroughly re-evaluate those patterns. We rarely sit down and say “Ok! Based on what my goals in life are right now, am I spending my time wisely? Am I spending it on the right activities, the right people, the right career?” 

We don’t like to have those conversations with ourselves. It makes us uncomfortable. It calls into question everything we currently believe in. 

So what do we do? We avoid this conversation altogether. We watch TV, we read, we play games, we scroll through Facebook – all just to not face this internal dialogue. 

Why we need solitude 

We need start listening to ourselves again. How can we develop our character if we never take the time to explore it? How can we deepen our understanding of who we are if we never ask? And how can we embark on a satisfying path in life if we never sit down and study the road map? 

We all have this knowledge inside us, we just need to pay closer attention. Give your mind the time to express itself. Give your thoughts the freedom to unfold. And learn to listen closely instead of distracting yourself. Seek out solitude every now and then and just enjoy the ride your consciousness will take you on. 

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